Dressing Up
by bellapouts
Summary: Emmett Cullen decides to throw a dress up party for his birthday. However, with the vampiric Cullen's there, it's definitely not going to be a normal dress up party... The results are both humorous and chaotic. : Don't let the summary throw you off.
1. Home Made Costumes!

**Dressing Up **

**Summary: Emmett Cullen decides to throw a dress up party for his eighteenth. However, with the Cullen's there, it's definitely not going to be a normal dress up party... The results are both humorous and chaotic. (: Don't let the summary throw you off.**

**I'm awful at summaries. So be sure to review and let me know what you think. :D **

**Emmett POV**

A whole month without that devious little psychic. I couldn't have hoped for a better birthday present. Alice had taken Jasper for a holiday on some island near Australia, as it had been their wedding anniversary yesterday.

As for me, on Saturday, I was going to throw a dress up party for my birthday. We had to tell the humans that it was my eighteenth, but that didn't bother me much. Of course, I already had the perfect costume picked out.

It was Monday. I had to advertise my party.

"Little human," I called, spotting Bella standing by her truck. She grinned upon seeing me.

"Crazed vampire," she greeted, as I went over to her. I handed her a stack of purple fliers. She pulled one of the top and read aloud.

"You're throwing a dress up party?" she laughed, holding the fliers out for me to take. I grinned, and took a step back. She frowned, puzzled.

"I need a favor," I explained. "You need to help me hand out fliers for my party."

She pouted, dropping the stack of fliers on the ground. Gasping, I bent down and picked them up.

"Have you got any idea how long it took me to make these, Bella?" I demanded. Bella laughed.

"Oh, come _on_, Emmett. This is _you _we're talking about. You didn't design these fliers."

I gave in with a sigh. For a human, she was hard to trick.

"Okay, so I got some help off of Alice before she left, happy?" 

"Very."

She turned and began walking away. I raced over to her.

"Come on, Bella. You're ruining my birthday." 

"Your birthday isn't until Saturday," she pointed out. "And you're like, over a hundred now. Old men don't have parties."

I sighed. 

"I may be old, but I still have feelings. Please, Bella."

She took the fliers from me and walked away. I grinned to myself. That got _that _out of the way.

**BPOV**

At lunch, I sat with Jessica and her group. Emmett, Edward and Rosalie had had to bolt when the sun came out. Everyone at school seemed to be chatting excitedly about Emmett's dress up party.

"Well the invitation says to be unrecognizable," Jessica was saying to Angela, who seemed like she couldn't take another minute of Jessica's constant whining.

"Are you talking about Emmett's dress up party?" I asked, taking a seat opposite the pair. Angela shot me a grateful smile. I winked at her.

"Oh yes," she grinned, "but don't you think he's a bit old to have a dress up party?"

I smiled. Jessica, as always, had found something to whine about.

"Who cares?" cut in Mike. "It's probably not going to be as good as everyone thinks." 

"But it's _Emmett Cullen_. Of _course _it's going to be pretty epic!" sighed Jessica. Mike rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, that's what everyone said about Tyler's party last year. That was so boring. Everyone went home cause there was no action."

I strained my ears to listen to Tyler and Ben's conversation.

"It won't be as good as my seventeenth was last year," Tyler was saying to Ben. Ben laughed.

"Dude, it only lasted an hour. Everyone left, remember?"

"So?" sighed Tyler. "As if Cullen's will last ten minutes." 

"You wanna bet?" laughed Ben. "Cullen's gonna make this pretty interesting, I think." 

"Sure, fifty bucks." 

"You're an idiot, Tyler," sighed Mike. "Your party was crap. No food, no music, nothing. No wonder everyone left. Fifty bucks proves that you're an idiot." 

"Agreed," said Ben, shaking Tyler's hand. Ben exchanged a glance with Mike. They both started laughing. Tyler turned bright red.

"_You _can laugh, Newton," snapped Tyler, venom dripping from his words. "But I'll be the one laughing when everyone leaves Emmett's party in the first ten minutes, and Ben has to hand over fifty bucks."

Jessica rolled her eyes.

"Tyler, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard," she laughed. Tyler frowned, and turned to Ben.

"This is a serious bet, mate," sighed Ben. "You do realise that, don't you? If everyone walks out in the first ten minutes of Cullen's party, then sure, I'll give you fifty bucks. If they don't… then I'll be fifty bucks richer." 

"Good luck," muttered Mike, winking at me.

I pulled a flier out of the pile I was holding and it examined it. Alice had done a pretty good job on these fliers.

"Ooh, can I have one?" asked Jessica, snatching the flier from me. She tapped Angela on the shoulder, who was in the middle of a conversation with Ben. Angela snapped around and frowned.

"What?" she asked, irritated.

"The party's at their _house_!" exclaimed Jessica.

"What?" asked Angela, taking the invitation and looking at it. Angela raised an eyebrow questioningly. Jessica rolled her eyes.

"We get to go their house for the party. The Cullen house! Apparently, it's a massive mansion or something. Gosh, they sure are rich. You know, before Bella came along, Edward was practically obsessed with me. It was so sweet, but I just wasn't interested. I had to tell him to back off. When Bella came along, I guess he realized that I liked Mike and moved on. Now he's obsessed with her. It's so strange," babbled Jessica.

I laughed silently. Edward had never been 'obsessed with her', as she put it. According to Emmett, it was the other way around. _Jessica _had been obsessing over Edward, who had told her very nicely that he wasn't interested in her.

Angela laughed as soon as Jessica finished talking.

"You're kidding, right? Wasn't it you who asked him out, and got rejected?" she sighed, clutching her side from laughter. Jessica blushed, frowning.

"No, that's not the story at all. If Bella hadn't…"

Jessica finally seemed to remember that I was at the table. She glanced over at me, and blushed a deeper shade of red when she saw that I was listening to their conversation.

Glaring at me, she got to her feet and marched off towards Lauren, who had just entered the cafeteria. She began gossiping to Lauren, who gave me a murderous look.

No wonder I had left this crowd, and always hung out with Edward and his family. Sighing to myself, I turned to Angela, who was giving me a sad smile.

"See what I have to put up with?" she sighed. 

"Why do you put up with it, then? You could always sit with us, you know."

She glanced over at Ben, her boyfriend. I nodded in understanding. She giggled.

"Besides, I have a very high tolerance level."

**Tyler POV  
**

There was only one small costume shop in Forks. Everyone already knew about Cullen's party, and I had to get there before they did. After school finished, I ran out of biology and over to the parking lot. I jumped into my brand new van and backed out of the parking lot.

I sped off down the road, in a hurry to get to the costume shop before every other kid in town. Speeding out onto the highway, my face fell when I saw Bella's dad signaling me over from the side of the road, where he was standing next to his police cruiser.

Groaning, I pulled over. There was no point in ignoring him. It was a small town. The guy probably knew where I lived.

I got out of the car and walked over to him. He was writing me a ticket. I groaned. He looked up, frowning.

"Hey Mr. Swan," I greeted. 

"Chief Swan," he grunted, not bothering to return my greeting. "You realise why I've pulled you over, don't you?" 

"Yeah, sorry about that. I wasn't keeping track of my speed. I was in a bit of a hurry. It won't happen again."

He squinted up at me, as if trying to remember who I was. He gasped in realization.

"I'm Ty…" I began, but was cut off by him.

"I know you. You're that idiot that almost ran over Bella in your van!" Chief Swan growled. Groaning, I looked away. There was no way I was going to make it to the costume shop now. Everyone was probably already there.

"You told me then that you weren't going to be driving recklessly ever again," he continued. "Yet here you are, months later, speeding."

He handed me the ticket, glaring at me as if I was his most hated enemy. I didn't bother looking at it. My father would be pretty annoyed if he found out I had been fined. I'd have to come up with the money myself.

"Don't let me catch you again, or I'll be taking it further," snapped Chief Swan, as I walked off towards my car. Stupid old guy…

I got into my car, and drove slowly into the distance. The minute I was clear of Charlie's view, I sped off. If I hurried, then perhaps I would be able to get to the costume shop in time.

Cruising along, I turned on the radio. An eighties song filled my ears. I groaned, turning the radio off. My face fell as I arrived at the costume shop. All the parking spaces were gone. The shop was full of kids. They all had their arms full of costumes.

Running in, I groaned in realization. Everything was gone. Every last stitch of clothing. Gone.

Guess I'd be wearing a hand made costume to Cullen's party.

x.x

**So if you're wondering about anything, feel free to ask. (: Next chapter coming shortly. I'm so used to writing in Bella's point of view, so I'll try and do this story in other people's point of views as well. But let me know what you guys think about that, as well.**

**-Bellapouts. **


	2. Meet Ned

Jessica POV

Emmett Cullen's party was going to be big. This meant that whenever I decided to throw _my _eighteenth, it'd have to be _bigger _and _better_ than his. I was more popular than he was. How hard could it be? 

"Jessica! Are you even listening to me?"

Snapping out of my thoughts, I glared up at Lauren. We were sitting in the shade of a tall tree that stood in her yard.

"So anyway," continued Lauren. "I still don't know what to wear to the party."

Why was everyone so obsessed with the party anyway? It was only _Cullen_. No one ever even bothered to talk to him. He was strange, just like the rest of those Cullen kids. The only half decent one out of all of them was Edward, who was incredibly gorgeous.

"Well the costume shop is sold out," I sighed, throwing a rock at a passing dog, which yelped in pain.

"Who wants to wear some stupid old rag that everyone else has been wearing? We need to think outside of the box if we want to be the best looking ones there," groaned Lauren. "Rumor has it that there's a competition for the best costume. Whatever the prize is, it'll be mine." 

"Lauren? Jess?"

Looking up, I saw Tyler and Mike approaching us. 

"What do you want?" snarled Lauren, rising to her feet. Mike looked taken aback, but Tyler seemed too upset to notice.

"Let me guess," sighed Mike. "You guys are having trouble finding costumes for Cullen's party?"

The two boys sat on the grass beside me. Pouting, Lauren joined us. 

"We're not having trouble finding a costume," lied Lauren. "Just because you're too dumb to work it out for yourself."

Mike rolled his eyes.

"You know, it's _really _obvious when you're lying, Lauren."

Lauren threw a rock at his head, making him wince in pain.

"What are you two wearing, then?" I demanded. Mike grinned.

"That's confidential information. You haven't found a costume yet. I wouldn't want you to get desperate and copy my idea. You'll see it on the night." 

It was probably some stupid guy out of some stupid comic book. Maybe I could get last minute flights to France, and have my costume designed by the biggest names in the fashion industry. But daddy's company had been struggling lately. There was no way it could happen.

"Tyler, what are you wearing?" asked Lauren. Tyler ignored her, and began fiddling with his shoelaces. Mike smirked.

"Tyler has to _make _his costume himself," explained Mike. "Seeing as the costume shop is out." 

I jumped to my feet, shaking with excitement. 

"Mike, you've just given me the _best_ idea!" I grinned, turning and running over to my car. My costume was going to be hand made, but it would be better than everyone else's!

"Is she for real?" I heard Lauren ask Mike, as they exploded with laughter. I ignored them. I had a costume to make!

**BPOV**

It was Tuesday morning. The whole school was buzzing with excitement about Emmett's party. In the meantime, Carlisle and Esme were making arrangements to be in Canada on Saturday night, so that they wouldn't have to be around when Emmett's party started up.

Not that I blamed them. I would take any opportunity thrown at me to miss the stupid party. Parties just weren't my thing.

"Please tell me what you're wearing, Edward," I begged, as we made our way to biology. He merely chuckled and shook his head. I pouted. For an incredibly sexy vampire, he was also incredibly annoying at times.

"Well then I won't tell you what I'm wearing to the party!" I scowled. Edward smiled at me.

"My vampire sister is a psychic. Why would I need you to tell me?"

I ignored him and walked into biology. We took our usual seats and the lecture began.

"Don't be angry, Bella. I want it to surprise you," muttered Edward. I stuck my tongue out at him, and looked out the window.

Tyler was standing in the parking lot, looking over Emmett's jeep. He put his hand on the door handle and pulled. To his surprise, the jeep was unlocked. Had Alice foreseen this before she had left for Australia? Whatever Tyler was playing at, it was very foolish when the Cullen's were involved. 

"Has anyone seen Tyler Crowley?" asked the unknown substitute teacher that was lecturing us. Edward raised his hand. 

"If you walk over to our window, and look over into the parking lot, you will see Tyler breaking into my brother's jeep."

I smiled to myself, as she ran over to the window and gasped. The whole class got out of their seats and peered out at Tyler. The teacher groaned, and ran out of the classroom.

Tyler, who had no idea that he had been found out, sat in the driver's seat and grinned. He pulled the keys out of the ignition and got out. He locked the jeep, and ran the key's edge across the paint again and again and again.

The class burst into laughter when they saw the principal and our biology substitute striding out of the school. Jessica opened the window so that we were able to hear them.

Tyler had not seen them, and ran off into the bushes with Emmett's keys.

The principal seemed to think that Tyler had seen them and ran to avoid being caught. 

"Mr. Crowley!" he shouted. "Get back here this instant."

Tyler disappeared amidst the trees, and the principal jogged after him.

"That's really unlike Tyler," muttered Jessica. Mike grinned.

"Isn't it obvious? He's jealous."

In a way, I felt bad for Tyler. He didn't stand a chance if the Cullen's were involved.

"I heard he's wearing a hand made costume!" snickered Lauren. Jessica turned on her angrily.

"Shut up. I'm making my costume, too. You got a problem with that?"

Lauren, who seemed surprised at Jessica's sudden outburst of anger, scowled and went over to a blonde-haired girl and began whispering very fiercely to her. The girl looked as if she was sick of Lauren's constant whining. Who could blame her? 

The principal reappeared, looking worn out from chasing Tyler. By the looks of it, he had been unsuccessful in catching up to him. Tyler hadn't even realized that the principal had seen him.

The substitute ran up to him, looking anxious. 

"I'm sorry, headmaster! I should have been able to stop my biology student from doing such a thing."

The principal ignored her, too tired to care what she had to say.

Tyler POV

Stupid Emmett Cullen. Thought he could throw a better party than the one I threw last year, did he? Well maybe sabotaging his car will help him figure out that nobody even cares about him. No one will even turn up to his party, cause he's so emo and no one likes him.

Wait, what was I thinking when I mucked up Emmett's paint job? While I was at it, I could have spiked a few tires, smashed a few windows. I had always been a daredevil. No wonder all the girls had a thing for me. Even those Cullen girls wanted me. When it came to the ladies, I always had the most success.

But stupid Cullen wouldn't be too happy about his precious jeep. It was a good thing that he wasn't going to find out what I had done!

**Principal POV  
**

"I'm very sorry about what happened to your vehicle, Mr. Cullen. Honestly, I can't imagine why young Tyler would do such a thing. I'll ring his mother and let her know the seriousness of what has happened."

Emmett just glared out of the window. 

"It'll only take a nice new coat of paint to fix. It's no problem. I put a new coat of paint on every few days anyway."

Put a new coat of paint on every few days? The rumors were true. The Cullen family really was quite wealthy. An even better reason for me to get on their good side…

"If you like, Mr. Cullen, I could always stop by later on to talk to your parents about it," I suggested hopefully. Emmett smiled.

"Oh, I'm sure that won't be necessary. My father is working at the hospital today, and my mother has gone south to go shopping for my party."

I sighed, disappointed. Cullen hadn't even invited me to his birthday party. After being his principal, surely he could repay me by inviting me. Tyler had invited me to his party the year before. Funnily enough, I was the only one who didn't leave that party. Which is hard to understand. There was no music playing, healthy celery sticks for snacks and it was very quiet. Just the type of party I enjoy. At least Tyler and I had a good time after everyone else left. Such a shame, though.

But Tyler was such a nice kid. It's hard to explain why he would do such a thing to Emmett's car. Once I had gotten to know him, I had learnt that he was a really nice kid.

Giving up on trying to get friendly with Emmett's parents, I opened the door to my office and allowed Emmett to leave.

But all was not lost. Emmett's father was working today, was he? Well, perhaps a little visit to the hospital would do me some good in trying to become friends with the Cullen's. Just think of all the parties I would be able to attend!

**Carlisle POV**

It had been a quiet day at the hospital. Actually, it was quite a relief. All the kids were always yelling about this party Emmett was organizing. Even Esme had gotten involved. It was nice to get a bit of peace and quiet occasionally. Though, having vampire hearing made trying to make that dream come true frustratingly hard.

"Dr. Cullen, everyone's gone home early cause it's been so quiet today. But we've just had a man come in who claims he has broken his arm."

Snapping out of my thoughts, I looked up from my paperwork to see the head nurse poking her head through the door.

"Thanks, dude. I'm on it."

She gave me a strange look before leaving. I sighed. That was the last time I tried to be 'cool'. The children had been trying to teach me how to get 'down and dirty' by using slang. It hadn't been working very well. The patients seemed to think I was going crazy, especially after what happened this morning…

_I looked up as a woman came running through the doors, screaming.  
_

"_The baby's coming!" she screamed. I nodded, and alerted the nurses. _

"_Dude, just chill. Yo baby's gonna be a mad baby," I said reassuringly._

She gasped between her screams. 

"_Are you calling me crazy? My baby will NOT be 'mad'!"_

I frowned. 

"_Um, no. MAD as in cool, like me…"_

The patients sitting in the waiting room looked at me as if I was crazy.  


"_Haha, the old man thinks he's cool! What a joke!" yelled a young boy who had his arm in a sling. _

It had been a very embarrassing moment for me. I was officially giving up trying to incorporate slang into my vocabulary.

I went out into the waiting room to see a short man in jeans and a turtleneck jumper clutching his arm. The waiting room was deserted.

"Doctor, I was heroically saving a child from a um… painful death in the science lab, when my arm began to hurt. Of course, the child was saved. But my arm is quite painful."

It was quite obvious that he was lying.

"You're the principal from the school, aren't you?"

He nodded.

"You can call me Ned." 

"Well, Ned, how about we go and get that arm of yours checked out?"

Ned grinned.

"Oh, do you guys still keep those lollipops here? My daughter got one a few years ago when she strained her face muscles."

I frowned. Oddness was obviously genetic in their family…

**Emmett POV**

I walked inside with Bella, our arms laden with shopping bags.

"That chick at Wal-Mart was totally checking me out," I laughed, as I dropped my shopping bags and launched myself onto the lounge. Bella raised an eyebrow.

"Shh, Rosalie might be home," she giggled. I grinned. Bella was becoming more like me by the day. I was such a good role model for her!

Booming laughter filled my ears.

"It was hilarious. It took Emmett a whole day to realise there was lipstick all over his face," came Carlisle's voice.

"When my daughter pulled her face muscle, she was convinced that she would die, and never have the chance to be with him. I bet she'll regret her obsession with him once I tell her these stories," came a familiar voice. Frowning, I strode into the kitchen to find Carlisle sitting with…

"The principal?" whispered Bella. Ignoring her, I walked over to them.

"What's this about me having lipstick on my face?" I demanded. Carlisle laughed, and the principal took a sip from a small glass of wine.

"Emmett, you spend your life pranking people. Isn't it time the world found out that you're really a softie?" 

"This will be a hot topic in the staff room with the other teachers," laughed the principal. I frowned. I heard Bella's soft giggle. Maybe her being like me was a bad idea…

And I didn't want the teachers knowing whatever stupid stories Carlisle had told the principal! It would leak for sure, and the whole school would know. 

"What are you doing here anyway, sir?" I demanded. Carlisle frowned.

"Call me Ned," smiled the principal, holding out his hand for me to shake. I ignored it.

"Don't be rude, Emmett. Ned came into the hospital with a suspected broken bone. I brought him back here, if that's alright with you," he said, adding sarcasm on the last sentence. "It's nice to have some time for male bonding with someone other than you, Jasper and Edward."

"But he's our _principal_!" I sighed. If Carlisle wanted man friends, all he had to do was sign up for a dating site as a girl or something, sheesh.

"Call me Ned," repeated the principal. "Tyler has no problem with it. You should have seen him in the girls department yesterday trying on lingerie. Hilarious! Oh, the two of us have some good times! You're welcome to join us, Emmett. Bella too, if you wish."

A foul image of Tyler wearing a bra and panties came into my head. I shuddered at the thought. There was no way I'd be _joining them _anytime in this lifetime! And as for Bella, well, if she was anything like me she'd agree! Bella collapsed onto the ground in a fit of giggles.

"More wine?" asked Carlisle, holding up a large bottle. Groaning, I pulled Bella out of the kitchen and went back into the lounge room.

"My worst nightmares have come true," I sighed, collapsing onto the lounge.

"You don't sleep," pointed out Bella.

"I mean, it just _had _to be my _principal_!"

"_Our _principal." 

"I don't have time for this right now. I need to be organizing my party. Why did that little pixie have to choose to go on holiday when my birthday was on? I'm going to go hunting now, Bella. And when I get back, you and I are going to sit down and organize this thing, alright? I'm going to need all the man power I can get!"

"You have Edward, though," pointed out Bella.

I ignored her. There wasn't time for her pointless jokes!

**This chapter was a little longer. (: But I guess it makes up for the lateness of this update. Review your feedback! Also, check out my other story 'Newton's A Goner', where Mike's brother Nick goes crazy and decides that he loves Bella. Nick, Jacob and Jessica get into a prank war with the Cullen's. **

**-Bellapouts**


	3. The Woes Of Ned

**Bella POV  
**

"Let me get this straight," sighed Edward. "Carlisle has formed a friendship with… the principal?"

I giggled, as he reacted exactly as I had expected him to.

"The best part is," I continued, "Carlisle was telling _Ned _all these secrets about Emmett, and _Ned _vowed to tell the whole staff room at school."

Edward chuckled. 

"Now that," he laughed, "would be funny!"

It was Wednesday, and Edward and I had just arrived at school. Emmett had tagged along in the Volvo this morning, and he was beginning to get annoyed that Edward and I were making fun of him.

"Shut up, Eddie poo," growled Emmett. "This will affect you, too. Imagine what sort of stuff Carlisle has told this _Ned _about you."

Edward's face fell, as he realized that he was indeed doomed. 

"Here comes trouble," muttered Emmett, pointing at the principal who was jogging over to us with a big grin on his face.

"Hey kids," he greeted. Kids in the car park stopped what they were doing and stood as still as statues, staring at the confrontation before them, open-mouthed. It seemed, that no one could believe that the principal was being so friendly with those _Cullen _kids. I blushed as I realized that they were all staring at us.

"The doc invited me to your big birthday party this weekend! It's going to be so much fun! Just don't have the music too loud. I wouldn't want to pull a face muscle yelling at people over that racket!" he grinned, before waving and jogging off in the direction of his car.

There was whispering as the kids in the car park regained their senses and began walking off in the direction of the school, realizing that the action was over.

"How humiliating," groaned Emmett. "Carlisle has ruined my birthday party. Inviting the _principal_, ugh. It's _my _party. Carlisle has no right to invite anyone, especially losers like the principal." 

"His name is Ned," I grinned, to Emmett's discomfort.

Emmett collapsed on the ground, muttering to himself. Edward grabbed my arm and steered me in the direction of the school.

"Just leave him, Bella. The mental asylum workers will be here shortly to collect him and take him far, far away," muttered Edward. I laughed, knowing that Ned the principal was probably in the staff room at this very moment telling all the teachers funny stuff about the Cullen's.

It was going to be a good day.

**Edward POV**

_I heard that Edward uses twenty tubs of gel on his hair every morning!_

That Alice girl cries when she misses episodes of the teletubbies? Sheesh! 

_That moody Jasper kid is into porn? Weird…_

_Apparently the principal and Dr. Cullen are like best friends now. How embarrassing for the Cullen's. _

_Oh, he's been telling the whole staff room stuff about them. _

_Rosalie and Emmett do it in McDonald's toilets? Whoa, she's definitely my type!_

Apparently Emmett ate Rosalie's lipstick one day and got lipstick all over his face, and went to Wal Mart and was wondering why everyone was laughing at him! 

_You know that old hobo that stands on the corner every Saturday grumbling and scaring off little kids? Apparently that's Edward!_

__It was turning out to be a horrible day. Ned the principal had told the whole staff room all about our embarrassing little secrets, apart from the fact that we weren't human, and now it had spread all over the school, and I was the one who had to read their thoughts.

As for the old hobo that stands on the corner every Saturday scaring off little kids, how dare they suggest that it was I! However, I had my suspicions that it was Jasper… Carlisle getting his facts wrong is not what we need right now. In fact, Carlisle should just keep his mouth shut about us!

To make matters worse, Ned decided to sit at our table at lunch. The whole cafeteria was laughing in their heads at us. Bella was over by the cafeteria door handing out fliers for Emmett's birthday party.

"Hey kids," greeted Ned. "Having a good day?"

He put his tray down on the table and winked at me. I shuddered. Emmett looked as if he wanted to sink into the darkest pit of oblivion and never return.

_Why did Carlisle have to choose this guy! … thought Emmett. _

_I hope that Emmett boy keeps the music volume to a minimum at his quiet, party. Actually, maybe I can convince the doc to make him have no music whatsoever! Hooray! _

I glanced over at Ned, frowning. I whispered something to Emmett so that the principal wouldn't hear. We rose to our feet, picked up our trays and moved over to a different table by the door.

Ned looked up and grinned at us.

"Yeah, I've always liked the table by the door better than this one!" he called, grabbing his tray and running over to join us.

Emmett groaned and rose to his feet.

"I have to go see a teacher or something for some reason," mumbled Emmett, running off in the direction of the door, leaving me with the principal.

"Yeah, I have to um… go do that, too," I agreed, getting to my feet and running after him.

"You haven't had enough to eat, young man!" called the principal, causing the whole cafeteria to burst into laughter. "We don't want your blood sugar levels to decrease! We wouldn't want you feinting or anything!"

I swore under my breath, wanting to get as far away from Ned as possible.

**Emmett POV  
**

"I need to speak to Dr. Cullen," I snarled to the office lady at the hospital. She glared at me.

"Dr. Cullen is in a meeting," she said simply, before returning to typing on her laptop and sliding the window shut. I slid the window open and sighed.

"Look, I really need to see him. It's urgent, you see. Family matters. Carlisle will understand, I'm sure? Although, I'm pretty sure he'll be angry… well, disappointed when he finds out you didn't tell him I was here, don't you?"

Her face went pale. She picked up the telephone on the wall and dialed a number.

"I'm very sorry to interrupt the meeting, Dr. Cullen. But your son is here. He wishes to see you. Says it's urgent. He seems pretty determined to see you, doctor."

She put the phone back on the wall and slid the window shut. I slid it open again and frowned at her.

"Well? Is he coming or not?" 

"Don't get your knickers in a knot. Here he comes now. Ha! He doesn't seem very happy, either. Good luck getting out of that one, kid."

Carlisle strode over to us and sighed when he saw me.

"What is it, Emmett?"

With one final glare at her, I turned to Carlisle. I didn't care who he was, or what he was, but Carlisle was going to stand here and listen to me for however long it took me to get my point across. In fact, I could be _very _convincing. If I were him, I'd be scared.

"This Ned bloke. You're not to talk to him anymore. Cut off all connections with him, understand? Carlisle, he's our _principal_. That means he's off limits to you. Can't you find a better friend? Charlie, perhaps? Your friendship with Ned ends now, and he's not coming to my party because you had no right to invite him!" I whispered furiously, as the lady in the window had slid her window open and was straining her ears very hard to catch a word of what we were saying.

Carlisle sighed and shook his head, to the lady in the window's delight.

"Emmett, you get me out of a very important meeting to tell me this? Couldn't it have waited? Besides, I'm the father. I'm centuries older than you are. Somehow, I think that I'm going to be the one disciplining _you_, not the other way around. Now go home and do your homework or something. Ned is my friend, Emmett. Whether you like it or not, he _will _be at your party."

I stuck my finger up at him before turning and walking out of the hospital, not bothering to say goodbye. Carlisle had gone way out of line this time.

Doctors were supposed to be smart. Carlisle was a complete _idiot_, and was probably a really bad doctor. Even Edward was pissed at Carlisle for befriending Ned, and he was the one who usually laughed at everyone else for something like that.

It just wasn't like Edward to be pissed if it wasn't really bothering him. He was bothered. I was bothered. Alice, Jasper and Rosalie were bothered.

Ned the principal was going to ruin everything!

**Ned POV**

For the first time in my life, I had a friend that I actually liked! Carlisle was really fun to hang with. I just knew that my wife would agree if she were still here. She had been kidnapped a few years ago. Everyone said that she ran away from me because she thought I was a nutcase, but that wasn't true.

They had even forged a note by my wife to say that I was a nutcase and that she was running away! Then they had denied forging the note and said that it was real.

None of that was true. A _real_ nutcase had kidnapped my wife. I just knew it. That wife of mine had _loved _me. She hadn't wanted to get married, but I convinced her five minutes before the priest made it official. From then on, things had been great for us!

She had liked to be stupid and yell at me and tell me I was a nutcase and that she wanted to run away, and then I would laugh at her and tell her and tell her she was funny. She was very funny, because she would keep yelling and say that she was being serious, and that I really _was _a nutcase.

On more than one occasion, she had even taken the joke so far as to spend a few days at our daughter's place.

It was all a joke, though. She hadn't meant any of it.

We had been in love, and we still were.

I just knew that she was probably in some kidnapper's dark, damp basement at this very moment thinking about how much she loved me…

**Ned's Wife POV  
**

"Maid!" I cried. "Maid, help!"

The little brown-haired girl ran into my bedroom in alarm, panting.

"What is it, Mrs. Schwarzenegger?" she asked, searching my eyes for an answer.

"I spilt a little wine on the new fifty thousand dollar table! But it's okay. You can clean it for me, can't you? Good. Get onto it."

I left the room and walked down four flights of stairs and into the grand entrance of the mansion, with its marble floors and twelve-foot ceilings, it was gorgeous.

Leaving Ned had been the best thing I had ever done! He was a nutcase, completely mental! Ned needed to be put into a mental hospital before he went on a killing spree or something.

And even after I had left a note telling him that he was a nutcase and that I was leaving him, he seemed to think that our daughter had forged the note, and that I had really been kidnapped. How stupid could you get?

Now I was married to Arnold Schwarzenegger, living the best life imaginable. I had the world at my fingertips, an endless supply of money, and my name was known in every household across America. If only Ned bothered to watch the news, he might realise that I really _had_ ran away…

Stupid guy. I felt sorry for whoever he was annoying at this very moment…

**I know that adding in Ned's Wife's POV was kind of random, but I thought it was necessary; to make it more obvious that Ned really is crazy. Arnold Schwarzenegger was the only person I could think of, and I really couldn't imagine being married to someone like him. XD (no offence, old boy!) Review. (: I love the feedback!  
**

**-Bellapouts**


End file.
